Confessional Box

my itunes is on shuffle. the ENTIRE thing. so intense. so random. so everything. ok, its not that dramatic. but i’ll tell you what is…ME!

i’ve been watching a lot of ‘ugly betty’ lately (per matthew and paulina’s recommendation). its such a novela its not even funny. in all honesty i’ve never experienced a spanish soap opera first hand. its always been explained to me through hispanic neighbors/school mates/friends.

but it only takes so many episodes of u.b. until my mind starts to novela all on its own. have you ever read a period book and begin to think just as the author wrote? do you ever hang out with someone for so much that your laugh starts to morph into their laugh? i hope these things don’t just happen to me…

prepare to embark on my ‘full house’ theory.

the 90s were all about watching kimmy gibbler storm off after her ideas were laughed at by the tanner household. only we knew that in 30 minutes or less, everything would be ok. everything worked out: dad’s neuortic cleaning habits, djs growing pains (which was also a good show) and michelle’s comedic timing.

now i’m sure you’re thinking, what’s the problem? we laughed, we cried, we mimicked “have mercy.” the problem is that it was only 30 minutes. we could’ve baked muffins in the time we would go across the entire spectrum of emotions. now look at homies in my generation (what do they refer to it as?) and you can see the same desire. situation, problem, solution in 200 words or less.

got a probelm with you bf or your bff? can’t wait till morning to solve it? have to call them at 2am because it burdens your soul. knowing they have to work in the morning but they hurt your feelings and it has to be repaired immediately. you’re so emo. and so a part of my generation.

damn those olsen twin and all the stress their little golden ringlets brought us!!

my thoughts are so on shuffle today.

excerpt from a recent letter i wrote to someone that i hope to be friends with:

so as for me…where to start? i never imagined myself being a teacher but it’s turn out to be a mind expanding experience. i think about things on a whole different level. almost on a basic level. do you know who maslow is?

i always studied maslow’s hierarchy of needs when i was taking marketing class. now it makes such perfect sense. even when dealing with adults i try to consider their basic needs, just like i do with my students, and it totally works. i would’ve never gotten this experience without my little snot monsters.

as for my spirituality, its grown so much by being abroad and often uncomfortable. i mean, i love everything and have a ton of fun…but i can’t say its not frustrating when i can’t communicate what i want to buy/eat/do. god has been such a part of all of that, including my relationship with boyfriend.

i prayed about this guy from the beginning. months before our first date. i just wanted god to lead. and he did and he does. and sometimes i get worried and i feel shaken by what other people have to say. and whenever i go back to a state of prayer and meditation, i feel solid again. its hard though…everyone’s got their opinions. but in the beginning and end, its only god’s guidance and wisdom that matter.

so now i feel guilty that i don’t know enough korean and thats kind of selfish. i should study more so life will be easier and i can communicate with yoon’s family and friends. but i’ll tell you what, its so hot and humid that i don’t want to study/clean/cook/anything.

wow…that’s a blog in and of itself…i think i should post it… maybe i will…